Having a baby is easy…said no one who has a child…ever. Period. It’s the hardest most life-altering thing you can do: forgo your life for another’s. So how have people done this, perpetuating the human race for years, without more failures? I think I know the answer to this. It has to do with finding the right mom friends.
Upon the birth of my first daughter I joined a mom group. I paid $175 to join a group of neighborhood women who met once a week for eight weeks to talk about new motherhood stuff. It was the best money I ever spent on my daughter. Forget her cashmere blanket, the high-end stroller or even my breast pump, it was having this mom group that made me a better mom in every way and in turn made my daughter happier.
I found strength in these new mom-friends. They are the women who unflinchingly aided my engorged breast’s wildly squirting milk so as not to water-board my ravenous daughter in an attempt to feed her.
They also saw me at the notorious three-month mark when my hormones were fluctuating like a politician attempting to garner votes in Iowa before the caucus. And then there was my attempt to relay an incident I had with a stranger’s unsolicited advice about the dangers of the pacifier (which my daughter loved). With gasps and sobs bubbling from my core, I heaved my way through the story and was greeted with hugs and support on the other side. It was these moments of crying communication and watery eye contact with another mom that helped me survive early motherhood.
Meeting these seven, at first strangers, gave me a sense of being a part of this greater community of moms. Motherhood is so lonely at times — (those 5am wake up calls in the dark from a screaming child, or not being able to socialize like you used to, hell, even going to Duane Reade is a process!). Talking, complaining, sharing, agonizing with other moms with reciprocity confirmed that I was not alone. Though we may all be doing these mundane motherly meanderings singularly, in a sense we are all doing them together. And it is my mom friends who made me see this and saved me and in turn my daughter. Plainly stated, mom friends are the best friends a mother can have.
How are you surviving or planning on surviving the first few months with your little one? Have you thought about joining a mom group?
– Holly Chase Foran –
Holly Chase Foran is a modern mom and former educator who contributes to Weeblog regularly and writes about “the funny bumbling thoughts we all have during the treacherous early years of motherhood”. Follow her on the WeeBlog.