It’s been a long summer. I great one but long. And I feel this way every summer [see here], and this year is no different. I’m a little done. I’m mostly done because of these below scenarios that have happened on repeat all summer. Moms, are ya with me? Please tell I’m not the only one who all of these have happened to?! Here, check them out…




Mom’s thoughts: Here we go, another wrestling match with my child in order to save her skin from the sun. She will not want wrinkles when she is older. She will thank me later. OK, don’t get it in her eyes, don’t get it in her eyes. Remember the back of the ear and the scalp. I can do this!


Kid’s Thoughts: Mom is coming at me with this sunscreen spray – nah not today ma! Time to dip and dodge, scream, whine, and cry at the same time. Perhaps a preemptive cry about it getting in my eye…she always gets it in my eyes.

Beach Chair:

Mom’s Thoughts – All I want is 30 minutes to sit in this chair and read this trashy magazine John Irving novel. Oh look he’s playing sweetly by the water’s edge. Ok read!


Kid’s Thoughts – Oh look Mom got into her beach chair. Time to make dangerous runs straight into the crashing waves. Ha Ha Ha, she looks so funny screaming at me and flying down the sand. OK plan B I’ll just ask her for snacks and juice boxes constantly. She’s not going to be able to read one page of that book. And after drinking and eating so much, I’ll likely have to poop. So, ill just ask her to take me to the beach toilets all the way over there. And the sand is hot, so she will have to carry me while I scream about how badly I have to pee and poop.

Swim Diapers:

Mom’s Thoughts – Hmmm…I only have one swim diaper left. No, I don’t need to stop at Duane Reade for swim more swim diapers. This is our last swim at the pool this summer and next year she will be potty trained so I’m not going to buy a whole other package of swim diapers. I wish they just sold them one at a time. Ok, off to the pool.


Kid’s Thoughts – I’m going to hold my poop until mom puts on that swim diapers and then I’m going to let loose, literally. Hey mom, have fun getting a poop filled swim diaper off me without getting it on your hands!

Driving to a Pool Day at Your Friend’s House in the Suburbs:

Mom’s Thoughts – OK if I leave during his nap time, he will nap for the hour ride to our friend’s pool house and then he will be rest and ready to go when we get there. He will be so cute and happy at the pool. Yay, fun.


Kid’s Thoughts – I don’t feel like napping in the car because, well no real reason, I just don’t. So maybe I’ll scream the whole time. And then when we get to mommy’s friend’s house, I’ll just scream and be cranky. Oh and when she’s in an uncomfortable position, hot, and wanting to go swimming, I’ll fall asleep in her arms. Oh yeah, and she will probably have to pee really badly too. Yes, that sounds like a plan.

Camp Day:

Mom’s Thoughts: It’s 8AM and he has to be at the camp by 8:30AM. I hate to do this but I have to wake him up.


Kid’s Thoughts: It’s a camp day I’m not getting out of bed. But come the weekend I am getting up early AF. Don’t think you are getting a 8:30AM wake up on Saturday morning. Oh yeah I’ll be up at 6AM then, who knows maybe 5:30AM.

Late Afternoon Walk Through Dumbo (Because It’s Just So Damn Nice Out):

Mom’s Thoughts – Oh look it’s 4PM, let’s just take a family walk down to the carousel and grab a drink and then we will put Junior down for an early bedtime.


Kid’s Thoughts – Oh awesome I ride in the stroller. I’m exhausted and will totally fall asleep in one second. What is this lady thinking? I’m 3 years old and haven’t napped in years. But I’ll show them. I am going to nap at 4PM for a couple minutes and then I will not not go to bed until, hmmm let’s say 11PM. Good times ahead!

Sprinklers With Your 18 Month Old:

Mom’s Thoughts – OK finally got out the door. To the sprinklers. Oh shoot, I forgot a bucket for him to play with. Oh well, he’ll be fine.


Kid’s Thoughts – Awesome Mom forgot my bucket. I can just use every other kid’s bucket. Oh he’s crying when I take it, I don’t care. I want it so I’m going to take it over and over again and be THAT kid at the sprinklers.

Want to read some more? Check out this post about your kid’s yelp review of your cooking!?! Yes you should be scared!